Ten ways to die/and Dr. Birkin has a new Tyrant!
by RamenKitty
Summary: Some ways to die in Resident evil the movie involving creative reasoning...and Dr. Birkin unveils his latest Tyrant...


Normally, I don't write Resident Evil Fanfiction.  However, this list (or rather uh…thing) has been stewing in my head for a while and I'm going to post it.  I'm in a fanfiction frenzy baby! Wow! Chocolate is great!

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TEN WAYS TO DIE IN RESIDENT EVIL THE MOVIE

Okay, you know the red queen right? And how…(for those of you who haven't seen the movie) she kills the various lab personnel (or as a buddy of mine calls them, " Cannon fodder") okay.  This is a little bit of an expose of how the red Queen can be really creative when it comes to death…(not the elevator scene and the water scene weren't classics…if you don't know what I'm talking about, go see the movie.)  And Pokemon is copyright Pokemon…heh…

Disclaimer- Resident evil copyright whoever owns it (capcom) and the movie is copyright whoever gets the money for it.  Give your money to them, I'm not worthy.

Okay, before each of these lets pretend that Umbrella has lots of other scientists besides your run-of-the-mill virologist, researcher, or Geneticist. 

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10: Those crazy marine biologists, standing _right _on top of the shark tank when the virus gets released…

9: you're a geologist? Oh no, that doesn't excuse you from death! Remember, the red queen does have control of the building, and she _does _control the very large crane, holding the _very _large rock over your head…

*Squish*

8: Vending machines should never be hooked up to a large network.  In Umbrella, they sometimes eat people.  Especially, if the red queen tells them to…

7: Same for VCRs.

6: The Elevator scene

5: The sprinkler scene.

4: aww come on! Don't tell me the Laser thing wasn't the coolest fucking death ever? Let's see daffy duck do that man…

3: Your co-workers never liked you.  Now they can finally tell you how much they hated your guts.  How? By eating them of course…

2: Take your kid to work day takes on a whole new meaning at umbrella…(super Uber Kid zombies!) the perfect way to get back at mom and dad for making you eat spinach.  Of course, they'll probably want to get right back at you-

1: Finally, the total best death in resident evil…being eaten by a Zombie! Woohoo! Go zombies! 

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(A little more humor)

Dr. William Birkin, creator of the famous T-Virus and G-Virus, stood nervously before a large group of directors on the umbrella staff.  He was dressed as usual, lab- coat, white shirt, tie, ETC.  Never mind the fact that the tie was soaked, the shirt totally ruined, and the coat about to go the way of its predecessors, Annette was going to kill him when she saw him later that night.

He had every reason to be nervous; he was about to unveil his latest creation.

            Inspired by a Saturday morning cartoon he had seen his daughter watching, his newest project was perhaps the most terrifying of the Tyrant series in his opinion.  He doubted however, that the serious men before him would think so.

" Dr. Birkin-"

" Now…" he ignored the last comment, " I present to you the next evolution in Zombie Design.  Perhaps, the most terrifying of our Tyrant series…"

" How?" One of the younger members of the board leaned forward, Dr. Birkin had set the creation in the middle of the oak table, and "It looks like a lump under a sheet."

            " Prepare to be amazed." Dr. Birkin said, he wasn't going to let any snot nosed board member steal his thunder," By the first of our new production line-" he threw the sheet off.

There was a collective gasp.

            " PIKACHU!" 

" Its…hideous!"

" So… cute and foul-"

" Disgusting-"

The little yellow mouse blinked its black button eyes at the men as they began backing away slowly.  Dr. Birkin smiled, mirroring his boss's smile at the end of the table.

The new breed of Tyrant, so cute it was irresistible: Pikachu.

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Terrifying yes? Scary? Pikachu? Lets see what Claire makes of that! Muahahahahah! *coughcough* 

Enjoy, read, review.  I was bitten by a scary zombie plot bunny, begging me to write this…don't let it come after you too!


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